I remember one time looking at my partner and saying “Wow I’m afraid of him.” Not afraid because of the type of person he is, or that I felt he would harm me but I was afraid of him because I loved him.

Loving someone can be scary. It puts you in a vulnerable and seemingly fragile place. It takes a lot of courage to love especially if you’ve experienced some heartache and pain in your life.

So I looked at him and what had been playing subconsciously for me suddenly was crystal clear. I am afraid of him because he has the potential to break my heart.

So I had to make the decision to guard my heart with cold walls or allow myself the joy that loving someone brings and deal with the fears as they come.

You see it’s easier to just keep someone out than to face fear or be accountable for our own emotions and how we react to them as they come up in relationships. It takes strength to allow someone in to you because you think they may uncover your flaws and reject you for them.

You play all kinds of games and jump through all kinds of hoops for your partner to “see” you so they will just love you, so they will always behave and never hurt you. You resent them for holding so much control over your heart. You resent them for having to prove yourself. You resent them for your feeling that you have to be that “perfect” woman. Don’t we all marvel when we feel we have found a person where we feel we can just be ourselves?

You secretly hate your partner because of your unhealed issues of mistrust, disappointment, self esteem, abuse, self-neglect, and abandonment.

It’s just not a good space to be to feel that your happiness and sanity are based on someone else’s actions. The only way to be free from this is to diligently work on comforting your heart and allowing yourself safety within your body and mind.  You will have to have a sense of detachment. This detachment I speak of is not a protection wall or not letting yourself “fall to deep thing.” It’s a sense of peace that you can return too no matter what happens in your life and knowing you are safe and free to just be and show up how you want and need to be because you can always come back to that peace.

When you have this sense of peace and this way of moving about you, you will just attract circumstances that bring you more joy and that seem to serve you.

In addition to having a state of peace you will develop a sense of confidence that is unshakable. No things or no one will be able to move you from this confidence because it was not given by them. Confidence gives you an inner strength. Confidence makes you undeniably attractive. Confidence also gives you focus.  The focus on you and what more you need to do for your personal empowerment.

I’ve developed a worksheet of some things you can do today to get in that space of confidence.  Get it here.


It seems like women are becoming more aware of themselves and their sexuality.  More and more women know what they want.

While this is happening there are still some women who still aren’t experiencing orgasm or even enjoying sex for that matter. Maybe they are stuck in that energy of the sixties where it made you less of a lady to voice what you need and want. Look at this picture below.


How does that make you feel?

In a recent article Nicki Minaj said she demands that she climaxes and shared a story about a friend who never had an orgasm. She shared how she gives her action tips on how to get there.

Here’s the article

While I’m at it here is a free report I created telling you how you can get yours every time. It’s called “5 Ways to Climax Every Time.”

All women deserve to be fulfilled. What makes men more deserving than woman of pleasure? And why is it that women suffer the greatest number of sexual dysfunction. Can it be because of decades of instilling in women that her pleasure is not important?  That if she enjoyed it she was loose, or nasty, a whore even.  Still there is so much slut shaming that the not fully empowered woman feels guilty expressing her need to simply “finish.”

Where are you on this spectrum? Do you feel guilty or afraid to express your want and need to be sexually fulfilled?

What is life if you are not truly happy, healthy and fulfilled. Sexual pleasure plays a major role in all 3. It’s a shame that many women just decide to finally opt out if accessing this type of fulfillment. 

There is power in a woman being fully orgasmic. When she is there she is a force to reckon with. She magnetizes opportunities and divine happenings. she magnetizes love.  She creates the life she desires, she is confident, productive and successful. There is nothing that can keep this magical, wild woman down and societies have been and still are afraid of a fully empowered, orgasmic woman.  Watch what I said about this in my video.

Pop culture has spoken up in a new way. Not just the usual raunchy degradation of women, but Nicki Minaj actually put the message out there. “I Demand I climax.” With her celebrity maybe women are seeing this and saying damn I should too, or saying, I wish I were that brave to do so. This, I think will help spark a new sense of empowerment in women to speak up and stand up for themselves in this aspect.

Make sure you download my free report for some ideas that empower you to take charge.

Now on the flip side, demanding that you orgasm seems like it leaves  it all up to your partner. You as a woman have to come to a place where you are empowered sexually to receive that climax. With some women no matter how hard her partner works she will not get there because of the hang-ups she has. She may be all up in her head, not know her body, untrusting, holding on to tension or insecure. It could be a number of things. So don’t go demanding no one do anything, especially if you have a hard time reaching orgasm, unless you are working on yourself. Then your partner can be a “co-orgasm provider.” Yes I made that up.

No, definitely do not settle for a lazy, self centered partner. Make sure you are not lazy and self centered as well. As you explore yourself you then can show your partner and position your body in certain ways for you to reach your orgasmic potential.

So yes you should demand that you orgasm. Demand it from yourself first and then a partner. Make the decision that you deserve pleasure. This is part of having what I call an “orgasmic life.” In my video classes and in my book I teach women how to let go and remove the obstructions to their bliss. The first step is making a choice. The second step is admitting to yourself that you deserve it. Then you commit to achieving it.

The sad thing is some women will never do the work on creating bliss for herself. She is so stuck and has no idea what to do to get herself out. That is a dark and lonely place.  Like Nicki Minaj says she does, if you have empowered yourself, lift another woman up. Share this message even. Let her know that she has options. If you are reading this you know by now that you do. So what’s next?

Download this FREE report right away. ” 5 ways to Climax Every Time” and empower yourself. 

I pray that all women demand her pleasure. I pray that all women make her bliss non-negotiable.

Go over to in services to see some options.